My Photography Journey by Jessica Holden
I have loved photography since I was a little girl. My Grandpa was colorblind, but he drew exquisite charcoal drawings of the sun streaming through redwood forests, and I yearned to create art that was half as beautiful as his. My first camera was a Brownie given to me by an old family friend, and to this day I remember the pungent smell of the film, the feel of winding the spools between each shot…. I adored that little camera (and so deeply wish I still had it!). I seemed to have an innate understanding of the rule of thirds and natural framing, and I remember being proud of myself when I learned how to achieve a starburst by angling myself so that the sun just barely peeked around an object such as a tree, fencepost, or building. And I adored my soft-focus lens. I figured I was a rock star!
But as often happens between childhood and adulthood, I began to realize I had a lot to learn. I went to college and got married, and we had a daughter. I had grand visions of the images I wanted to take of my baby girl—the days with her felt so fleeting and I was desperate to capture them—but I just couldn’t figure out how to make my vision a reality on film.
I cut off limbs at awkward places more often than not. I didn’t understand flash, and I used the harsh on-camera flash with abandon.
Occasionally I got it right, and that was incredibly motivating, though usually it was by happy accident.
The awkward chops remained consistent in my work…
After a while, I finally moved from a film SLR to a digital point-and-shoot (because I was so unreliable in my shooting, I went through a lot of costly film!), but the shutter lag was frustratingly slow, and I was missing the moment more often than not. So in my typical fashion, I started researching obsessively. I first turned to Flickr, and the kind folks I “met” there helped me select my first dSLR in 2007. I also discovered the wonder of Photoshop that year, complete with over-sharp and bright eyes and processing that was all over the place.
And I still wasn’t watching the edges of my frame for chops…
In 2008 I finally read Bryan Peterson’s Understanding Exposure and began to take control of my images by shooting in manual mode. And soon after, I took my first online workshop, which really helped me learn how to think through my images, though my editing was still very inconsistent.
In 2009, I discovered and joined Clickin Moms, and I felt like I’d found a home away from home. I learned so much from the kind women there and the abundant tutorials, and I started to become more creative with my shooting. When I look back, I realize that was the year I really started to find my own voice.
In 2010, I took another workshop where I learned a lot more about shooting in various lighting situations (still not through CM as they didn’t have anything like this yet).
On February 14, 2011, I applied for CMpro. It had been launched several months earlier, but I was initially too apprehensive to put myself out there. I hoped doing it on Valentine’s Day would prove lucky somehow and that I would hear back before my birthday—it seemed like an opportune time for a sentimental girl like me. A few days later when I received the acceptance email, I was shocked but absolutely overjoyed (and, I admit, intimidated—I couldn’t believe I was amongst the women I’d been admiring for years!).
I’ve taken a number of CM classes since CMU launched, including Sarah Wilkerson’s Composition and Creativity along with an Intro to Lightroom and a Lifestyle with Kids class, all of which were invaluable.
This year I am working on my creativity, and I’m trying to shoot with more intent. I’ve done a few concept shoots and have been practicing a lot with my Lensbaby, and I am trying to get better at capturing the details of our every-day life.
I am thankful every day to have found photography. It is my passion; it comforts me and it grounds me. It helps me preserve cherished moments and memories in a life that often feels too fast. To keep actively learning, I participate in the Daily Project, challenge myself with personal projects, take periodic workshops, and engage in blog circles and Facebook groups with other women who share my enthusiasm. Photography is the one hobby that’s remained a constant in my life, and I know it’s a journey that won’t end—and that thrills me!
Wow! How cool to see how much your photos have improved, as well as seeing your daughter grow! Good job, Jessica! 🙂
Thank you so much! I too love that my journey sort of corresponds to my daughter’s growing up–it makes it that much more fun and rewarding to me to look back!
Thank you for sharing this journey. I have a slight fascination in learning how people get to where they are – whatever they are doing, but especially in photography. It’s an area I wish I explored more and am finally realizing how much it feeds my soul.
Just curious… as you were learning and growing how did you balance that with work and family and other life obligations. I work full time and have a preschooler and it never seems like enough time to practice, read books, or just set aside the time that I want to learn more about the craft.
Also, while my husband also loves photography and wants to support my love of it I think he sometimes think I have my camera with me too much. Any words of advice on creating the balance of having your camera with you to get that practice in and knowing when to set the camera down?
Again, thanks for sharing!
LOL–I share your fascination! And we all get there via such different routes and in such different timeframes–I love it!
For me on the balancing photography and family thing, I am lucky in some ways that we only have one daughter, and since she is in school during the day I have more free time to devote to photography (I am a SAHM). But having said that, I will admit there are evenings when I let it devour me, and I am ignoring my family (and getting dinner on the table–NO ONE is thrilled when that happens…). Photography is all-consuming at times, and I definitely have to remind myself that there isn’t a race to a finish line, and that she will be off living her own life in a few short years and I need to savor her while I can.
It can be difficult with my husband too, but he also is very supportive. He (mostly!) doesn’t mind my carrying the camera everywhere we go, as he appreciates that I am documenting our life, and he doesn’t have to! But at the same time I do know it drives him crazy sometimes. I don’t have my camera with me constantly (more because I am so shy and self-conscious about it), but I admit, too, to there being many moments when I wish I did (and it’s for that reason that I am determined to get better with my iPhone!). I think over time, as you feel more and more confident with your camera, you will worry less about the practice aspect of it and will begin carrying it only when you know there will be moments you yearn to preserve. Tell him to be patient; you will arrive at a point soon where you are less obsessed! You are learning now, and that takes a lot of time and effort. And it will all be worth it in the end, even if you never go into business. I find myself fantasizing sometimes about my daughter looking over photos of her childhood with her children–that thought makes my heart happy, and in moments like those, I know it’s all worth it!
Such a lovely share Jessica! I love seeing progress posts and I just love your work. <3
Thank you so much! <3
Thank you for sharing Jessica! I hope to have a story similar to yours in my future!! Just when I think I’m going no where…I will continue to figure out where my journey is taking me.
Thank you again!
🙂
I think those “I’m going nowhere” feelings happen to all of us, no matter what stage of the journey we are in. Just relax and enjoy the ride! In fact sometimes I think the most discouraging times happen right before a burst of growth as an artist. It is hard to believe that when you in the midst of a bad time, but there is always an end to it. Thank you for your kind words!
Thank you for sharing this! This gives me so much hope that one day I can be CmPro too! 😉 Your photos are so beautiful and I loved seeing how you grew!
Beautiful!
Thanks for sharing your journey, your work is stunning 🙂 I too am slightly obssessed with these type of posts bc they give me hope when I get stuck lol!
Your daughter is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your journey.